Bad Day? Rant/Vent here!
Why are the people at church treating me so badly, lol? :)
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Well, today I had to go to the rehab center to do some testing due to my slow learning problems. That itself  kinda sucks but is still fine. However halfway through the tests I don't know why but I just, had a breakdown and burst into tears which was just humiliating. Now I have to go back on Wednesday and finish the tests which is why I might have postpone Tangled to Thursday. I know its not my fault, my home and school life have mentally damaged me in ways I can't even explain but I still feel like crap and I can't stop mentally berating myself. With each new stupid thing I find wrong with me I just hate myself more and more I actually fucking despise myself, I hate everything about myself. I wish I could function like a normal person or better yet I wish I just didn't exist at all.  I hate having an intelligent successful best friend and yet feel like a complete disappointment and failure to my family and myself. I don't know what to do anymore, the depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts just keep getting stronger while I have less and less confidence in myself. All because of my fucking home life getting worse every single day.
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Don't beat yourself up, this *is* a normal reaction to everything going on. I'm so glad you're getting tested. It will really help things and just keep in mind it's not going to be that long when you'll be going to college and find stable footing for yourself.
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